Colgate Ads - A Sad but Logical Story

Ek Aadmi ko heart ki bimaari thi.

Doctor ne namak na khane ki salah di.

Uski biwi hamesha uska khayal rakhne lagi

Woh aadmi bhi bohut sawdhani barakhne laga.

Samay pe khaana, sona, uthna khane me namak bilkul na lena , regular aur samay pe dawayi lena.

Par achaanak ek din subah who aadmi bathroom ke darwaje pe mara hua mila. Sab hairan the ki itni sawdhani ke baad aisa kaise ho gaya?

Dr ke report se pata chala………..

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Uske toothpaste main “Namak” tha!!!!!!!!!!!

Kya aapke Toothpaste mein “Namak” hain ?

:):):)

Rajnikanth's Hilarious Jokes, The Boss Rajani Chutkule

Rajani went for morning walk. After 1 hour, the police arrested him. Why??

Bcos He reached USA without VISA!!

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Once Rajani bunked a whole day from school..

Since then that day is Known as Sunday..

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Rajinikant got his driving license at the age of 16 seconds

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Rajnikanth can see himself sleeping..

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Rajnikanth once put a bonfire and that place is now known as SAHARA DESERT..!!

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And….

And….

And….

The “Rajnikant” award goes to OSCAR!!!

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-Rajni sentences the judge in the court

- He can declare the third umpire out !

- He can red-card a soccer match referee.

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spelling of rajnikant is "Rajnikant" because there is nothing like Rajni Can't

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Rajni doesn’t find bugs in any code, because ‘Bugs’ come to watch his movie & they’re caught.. J

They have found ‘Bugs’ in Da Vinci code in similar fashion.. J

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Rajnikantcan make his girlfriend admit her mistake!..

Rajnikant can answer THE question “Do I Look Fat in this??...

Rajnikant can answer THE question How much do you love me??

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Rajikant did his KG from 7 different places……….

Those 7 places are the present IITs in INDIA.

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Whenever RAJNIKANT starts rising, the market starts falling!!!!

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Rajini’s favourite SQL query...

SELECT * from ORACLE;

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NASA CLOSED…..

Rajni has bought all the Rockets for Diwali…!!

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Once Rajnikant Donated blood to a very small, sick and thin child.,

Today that child is known as "The Great Khali".

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The pyramids in Egypt are actually ........

.......Rajinikant's primary school crafts project

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My cell phone is full of Rajnikanth messages

And now I don’t need a charger.

Santa Banta latest jokes, 2010 latest jokes on Santa banta, Santa banta

Santa and and his wife, Jeeto, went to a fair.
Santa had never been on an airplane,
was fascinated by a stunt plane and asked the pilot how much aride would cost.

"Rupees one thousand for 3 minutes" the pilot replied.
"That`s too much" said Santa.

The pilot thought for a second and then said,
"I`ll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound,
the ride will be free. But if you make any sound at all,
you`ll have to pay me the whole amount."
Santa and Jeeto agreed and went for a thrilling ride.
After they landed, the pilot said to Santa,
"I want to congratulate you for not making a sound.
You are a brave man."
"Maybe so," said Santa, "but I gotta tell you,
I almost screamed when my wife fell out."

Mat Intzar Karao hame

मत इंतज़ार कराओ हमे इतना

कि वक़्त के फैसले पर अफ़सोस हो जाये

क्या पता कल तुम लौटकर आओ

और हम खामोश हो जाएँ

दूरियों से फर्क पड़ता नहीं

बात तो दिलों कि नज़दीकियों से होती है

दोस्ती तो कुछ आप जैसो से है

वरना मुलाकात तो जाने कितनों से होती है

दिल से खेलना हमे आता नहीं

इसलिये इश्क की बाजी हम हार गए

शायद मेरी जिन्दगी से बहुत प्यार था उन्हें

इसलिये मुझे जिंदा ही मार गए

मना लूँगा आपको रुठकर तो देखो,

जोड़ लूँगा आपको टूटकर तो देखो।

नादाँ हूँ पर इतना भी नहीं ,

थाम लूँगा आपको छूट कर तो देखो।

लोग मोहब्बत को खुदा का नाम देते है,

कोई करता है तो इल्जाम देते है।

कहते है पत्थर दिल रोया नही करते,

और पत्थर के रोने को झरने का नाम देते है।

भीगी आँखों से मुस्कराने में मज़ा और है,

हसते हँसते पलके भीगने में मज़ा और है,

बात कहके तो कोई भी समझलेता है,

पर खामोशी कोई समझे तो मज़ा और है…!

मुस्कराना ही ख़ुशी नहीं होती,

उम्र बिताना ही ज़िन्दगी नहीं होती,

दोस्त को रोज याद करना पड़ता है,

क्योकि दोस्त कहना ही दोस्ती नहीं हो

मत इंतज़ार कराओ हमे इतना

कि वक़्त के फैसले पर अफ़सोस हो जाये

क्या पता कल तुम लौटकर आओ

और हम खामोश हो जाएँ

दूरियों से फर्क पड़ता नहीं

बात तो दिलों कि नज़दीकियों से होती है

दोस्ती तो कुछ आप जैसो से है

वरना मुलाकात तो जाने कितनों से होती है

दिल से खेलना हमे आता नहीं

इसलिये इश्क की बाजी हम हार गए

शायद मेरी जिन्दगी से बहुत प्यार था उन्हें

इसलिये मुझे जिंदा ही मार गए

मना लूँगा आपको रुठकर तो देखो,

जोड़ लूँगा आपको टूटकर तो देखो।

नादाँ हूँ पर इतना भी नहीं ,

थाम लूँगा आपको छूट कर तो देखो।

लोग मोहब्बत को खुदा का नाम देते है,

कोई करता है तो इल्जाम देते है।

कहते है पत्थर दिल रोया नही करते,

और पत्थर के रोने को झरने का नाम देते है।

भीगी आँखों से मुस्कराने में मज़ा और है,

हसते हँसते पलके भीगने में मज़ा और है,

बात कहके तो कोई भी समझलेता है,

पर खामोशी कोई समझे तो मज़ा और है…!

मुस्कराना ही ख़ुशी नहीं होती,

उम्र बिताना ही ज़िन्दगी नहीं होती,

दोस्त को रोज याद करना पड़ता है,

क्योकि दोस्त कहना ही दोस्ती नहीं हो

Best Gajal in sufi style

ना मिलना तो एक बहाना है

शायद उन्हें हमें आजमाना है

उनका बस दिदार हो जाये

राह में तकते जमाना है

संभल कर मारो पत्थर यारों

कांच का ये मेरा आशियाना है

मै तो अदना सा हूँ एक इन्सान

ना कोई घर है ना घराना है

जमाना तो बदला है इस कदर

ना है हया ना कुछ शरमाना है

मेरा तो बस तुझसे है रिश्ता

छोटासा मेरा ये फ़साना है

झूट कहोगे,पर कहाँ तक कहोगे ?

जबाँ को आखिर कतराना है

जिंदगी में जियो कुछ इस तरह

शबनम को रेत पर बरसाना है

आंसू गर आ गए आंखोसे

चुपके से इन्हें यूँ थमाना है

रूह का रिश्ता रूह से 'साजिद '

बस प्यार से इसे निभाना है

राम जियावन - भोजपुरी के तुलसीदास

हम फकीरों से जो चाहे दुआ ले जाए,

फिर खुदा जाने किधर हमको हवा ले जाए,

हम सरे राह लिए बैठे हैं चिंगारी,

जो भी चाहे चिरागों को जला ले जाए,

हम तो कुछ देने के काबिल ही कहां हैं लेकिन,

हां, कोई चाहे तो जीने की अदा ले जाए

राम जियावन - भोजपुरी के तुलसीदास

हम फकीरों से जो चाहे दुआ ले जाए,

फिर खुदा जाने किधर हमको हवा ले जाए,

हम सरे राह लिए बैठे हैं चिंगारी,

जो भी चाहे चिरागों को जला ले जाए,

हम तो कुछ देने के काबिल ही कहां हैं लेकिन,

हां, कोई चाहे तो जीने की अदा ले जाए

A Love Offer By a HR manager

To,
Aarthi Agarwal
7.0 S.M

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms Aarthi,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 20th of October (Thursday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 19th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
HR Manager

जिन्दगी ये किस मोड पे ले आयी है

जिन्दगी ये किस मोड पे ले आयी है ,
ना मा, बाप, बहन , ना यहा कोई भाई है .
हर लडकी का है Boy Friend, हर लडके ने Girl Friend पायी है ,
चंद दिनो के है ये रिश्ते , फिर वही रुसवायी है .

घर जाना Home Sickness कहलाता है ,
पर Girl Friend से मिलने को टाईम रोज मिल जाता है .
दो दिन से नही पुछा मां की तबीयत का हाल ,
Girl Friend से पल - पल की खबर पायी है,
जिन्दगी ये किस मोड पे ले आयी है .....

कभी खुली हवा मे घुमते थे ,
अब AC की आदत लगायी है .
धुप हमसे सहन नही होती ,
हर कोई देता यही दुहाई है .

मेहनत के काम हम करते नही ,
इसीलिये Gym जाने की नौबत आयी है .
McDonalds, PizaaHut जाने लगे,
दाल- रोटी तो मुश्कील से खायी है .
जिन्दगी ये किस मोड पे ले आयी है .....

Work Relation हमने बडाये ,
पर दोस्तो की संख्या घटायी है .
Professional ने की है तरक्की ,
Social ने मुंह की खायी है.
जिन्दगी ये किस मोड पे ले आयी है

Which Baby Are You?

-------------JANUARY BABY-------------------- < target="_blank"> Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt... Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn. ----------FEBRUARY BABY --------------------

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom.. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

-----------------MARCH BABY --------------------

Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

------------------APRIL BABY -------------------

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper.. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling.. Systematic.. hott but has brains.

-----------------MAY BABY -----------------

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts... Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.

------------JUNE BABY -------------

You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

----------------JULY BABY --------------

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving... Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp.. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

------------AUGUST BABY ---------------

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.

------------SEPTEMBER BABY ---------------

Active and dynamic. Mysterious. Bottle up the feelings. You won't ever know what's going on in their heads, except for the chosen few.Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Always busy in finding ways to relieve world's problems, but during this they tend to neglect themself. Near and dear people should see to it that they don't forget themselves completely while caring for others all the time. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

---------------OCTOBER BABY -------------------

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends.. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

---------------NOVEMBER BABY --------------------

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

---------------DECEMBER BABY ---------------

This straight-up means ur the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. So Which Baby Are you?

a fun Fact About Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd'

This is awesome - I bet you didn't know this...

Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 99

(Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred)

Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999

(Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand)

Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999

(Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion)

And

Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in in the spellings of entire English Counting

Parents Magazine

Incredible Artwork by Mark Fredrickson

Software Engineer And His Wife !!!!

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.


Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.


Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.


Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.


Wife - at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.


Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.


Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.


Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.


Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.


Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.


Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters..


Wife - i will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.


Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.


Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.


Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer

Tappori Software Engg Song

appun jaise tappori s/w Engg. ko kya maalum...
saala programming kis chidiya kaa naam hai...

copy paste kaa kaam miltaa hai bass appun khush...!!!

fir yeh coding kaa lafdaa locha kaiko?

are kaiko ?

arre kaiko re?

fir ek din boleto appun ko project mila.....

ya haaaaaaaaaa!!!!

saala appun ka khopdi chakkar kha gaya ......

computer ke saath dil saala takkar kha gayaa...!!!

din bhar appun computer ke aagge...

koi lafdaa nahi kuch nahi...

Boss bola kya be munna saala tu bhi programmer bann gaya ...!!!

ye munnabhai kya coding bana rela hai baap...!!!

(fir ...? fir kya huwa..?)

fir ek din appun ne coding poora kar diya...

form poora karke appun ne testing ko bhej diya...!!!

lagataa tha ab appun kaa kaam khatam ho gaya ......!!!

par module me issues dekhake sala appun darr gaya ....!!!

appun ke saamne tester ne mere coding me ki galtiyaa nikali... aapun ke coding ki poori waat laga di.... appun udharich khadaa thaa... par
appun kuch nahi bola... kaiko bolega? kaiko...?

saala ek, ek kaam kiya thaa... usme bhi itne bugs...

par appun ek aansu nahi roya...

kaiko royega...?

kaiko..?

saala appunich yedaa thaa naa...!!!

agale din se phir wohi life chalu...

wohi mails forward karnaa, wohi messages, wohi template, wohi assignments... saala itnaa mails forward kiya...itnaa mails forward kiya... log samze mail server down hoyega... bhoolneka hai bhoolneka hai par kya karega...!!!

training milke bhi jab kaam nahi miltaa hai...

haa thoda bore huwa par chaltaa hai...

(phir ...? phir kya huwa..?)

fir ...?

fir kya...?

fir agale din appun ko aur ek project mila...!!!

shaappak...

saala appun ka khopdi phir chakkar kha gaya .......

computer ke saath dil saala phir takkar kha gayaa...!!!

Some Truth Factor of the Life

जीवन में कामयाब होने के लिए 3 factory लगाओ !!!!
1) दिमाग में Ice factory.
2) जुबान पर Sugar factory.
3) दिल में Love factory..
4) फिर life होगी SATISFACTORY

एक दिन सागर ने नदी से पूछा:
कब तक मिलाती रहोगी मुझे खारे पानी से ???
नदी ने हसकर कहा :
जब तक तुझ में मिठास न आ जाये तब तक !!!


1 tree makes 1 Lakh matchsticks.
But 1 matchstick can burn 1 Lakh trees.
Similarly 1 negative thought or doubt
can burn thousands of
dreams....!!
Think Positive !!!

चेहरे की हसी से हर गम छुपाओ,
बहुत कुछ बोलो पर कुछ न बताओ . ..
खुद न रूठो कभी, पर सबको मनाओ
ये राज़ है ज़िन्दगी का, बस जीते चले जाओ

वाह प्रभु क्या लीला तेरी:
चूहे बिल्ली से डरते है,
बिल्ली कुत्ते से डरती है ,
कुत्ता आदमी से डरता है ,
आदमी बीवी से डरता है ,
बीवी चुहे से डरती है .

दोस्ताना अंदाज़ में मुझ से किसी ने पूछा ,
तुम सबको email भेझते हो ? तुम्हे क्या मिलता है ?
मैंने हस कर कहा, देना लेना तो व्यापार है ,
जो देकर कुछ न मांगे, वो ही तो प्यार है ...