Latest and Naughty Jokes of 2009

Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan get married
After marriage, lots of students gather at their home ..... why ???

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because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth)

rahul gandhi --> mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi......... ......... ......... ......... ......

sonia gandhi --> kyun beta???????? ????????

rahul gandhi --> har taraf to likha hai ki sonia ko bahumat do

BRUCE LEE was a great man

But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...

why?

Because he became

MAMU LEE!

santa and banta r discussing-- -------
santa----- "if i drink coffee, i ca'nt sleep!!!!"
Banta----- "with me it's the opposite.if i sleep i can't drink coffee."

One day Ravan went to a disco....... ......... ......... ..

aur wahan jaakar woh behosh ho gaya ............ .......

kyun???????? ????????? ??

kyun???????? ??????










bcoz it was written on the gate that "entry fee Rs.1500 per head"

who made Ganesh to Anesh...????






ThinK......








Think......


























okay.....

" KAILASH KHER "

tere naam se " G " loon....

Ek din ek aadmi apne naukar ko Priya Gold biscuit laane bolta hai. To
naukar biscuit laane Pakistan jaata hai.
Kyon??????




Think....... ......




Give up??






Coz...
"Priya Gold biscuit. Haq se maango.."


Ek nadi thi......
uske upar ek pull bana hua tha.....
pull par bahut saari ladkiyan khadi thi......
sab ki sab ek hi ladke ki deewani thi.....
Guess who was the lucky guy??????
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Keep Guessing.... ..
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Chalo yaar....the answer is














"KISNA"
Jo hai albela mad naino wala...
jiski diwani BRIDGE ki har bala.....
woh kisna hai


if a CAT crosses ur way,
when u are going some where,

then what does it mean????????


?????????

?????????

?????????

?????????



?????????



????????? ?



?





?





?


it means that the Cat is also going somewhere.




AND FINALLY THE LAST ONE


Why are Indian husbands called "MADE OF SILVER"

And

Why are American husbands called "MADE OF GOLD"


Socho

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Thoda sur Socho

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Socho Socho....

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Nahi Aata


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Bcoz







Indian wives call their husband "A g" ( Scientific Symbol for Silver)

American wives call their husband "A u" ( Scientific Symbol for Gold)

Interesting and naughty jokes, funny jokes

Ghalib Ghazals

Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where r u going?

Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.

Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight?

Man: My wife...

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Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.

After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.

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Man: Is there any way for long life?

Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?

Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

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What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?

Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?

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Beggar: Saab 12 Rs do na coffee peeni hai.

Man: Lekin coffee to 6 Rs ki hai?

Beggar: Par saab girlfriend bhi to hai.

Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.

Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!

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Q: Why do women live longer than men?

A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

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Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?

If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.

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So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from

a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!

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Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of

crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel

to the crocodiles.

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Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of

eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby

clothes.

2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons

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Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?

Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.

Latest and naughty jokes on sardar

Sardar and Bomb 2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile, 1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain. 2 sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to? 1st sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha Sardar and Police Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi. Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha! Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho? Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun. Doctor And Sardar . Sardar 2 doctor: Mujhe 1 problem hai Dr: Kya? Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta Dr: aisa kab hota hai? Sardar: Phone karte waqt Sardar and Home Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho? Sardar: AC k paas ja k baith jata hun Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to? Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun Sardar and prayer A sardar prays daily for 2 hours, "He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade." After 11 years Vahe Guru angrily appeared & said,"Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le" The real Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun? Sardar bola, Oye baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega Sardar and Hitler Hitler says, "There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary" Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na " Sardar and Computer Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k liye. Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam? Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai. Two Sardars 1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye? 2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda so hi jaye 1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya . 1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge! Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai? Sardar and Practical Exam In bio practical: Examiner: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing its legs only? Sardar: I don't know. Examiner: You are failed, what's your name? Sardar: See my legs & tell my name